When I was pregnant I immediately decided that I wanted to breastfeed, but throughout my pregnancy, I would read stories from other moms and get so nervous. “What if she doesn’t latch?” “Is it going to hurt?” “What if I can’t produce enough milk?” I had a lot of concerns, but by the time she arrived I decided that if she could latch and we didn’t have any problems then I would do it!
The day came and everything worked perfectly. It did feel weird, but only because I wasn’t use to it. I don’t know how to explain the feeling, but I really loved that my body was able to produce something that was so vital for my child. I read all about how you create a connection and you truly do. Everything was fine for the first few weeks, but after that, I begin having problems. I couldn’t pump to save my life. I had enough milk to feed Alora, but when I tried to pump I never got more than 2 ounces. I was stressed out because I didn’t always want her to have to latch onto me and I decided to go back to work part-time 8 weeks after giving birth. I felt like I couldn’t provide what she needed and the more I stressed the harder it became. When she was about 2 months old I remember waking up for her feeding around 4 am and I just cried out of frustration. She just wasn’t getting enough and I was exhausted. At three months I began supplementing formula and things got better. I actually started producing more milk because I wasn’t as stressed. I could pump more, I even had enough to store some away.
Breastfeeding is a journey that it’s always easy. Looking back I wish I was more gentle with myself. I breastfed for seven and a half months and I’m so grateful that I did. Alora and I created a bond and even though I was hard on myself, she got all the nutrients she needed.
Whether you breastfeed for 1 week or 1 year you still provided for your child in a way that no one us can. Be proud of yourself and embrace whatever journey you took.